What Happens When Yami Bakura Hosts TV
by Silberman Was Here
Summary: Written when I was tired and wired on caffiene and sugar. A radio show hosted by Yami Bakura with variuos guests.
1. The Daily Show

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, the Daily Show or any of Bruce Springsteen's songs, but I do own Dark and Yami Kyoté Moon."  
  
Announcer1: Now, live from New York, it's Saturday Night! Just kidding, it's the Daily Show with  
  
Yami Bakura!  
  
Audience cheers wildly.  
  
Yami Bakura: Yes! Finally, the radio show is mine!  
  
Chibi Bakura: Yay! I'm here too! "Falls asleep in front of a small fire place"  
  
Yami Bakura: Yes, good for you. Now, here our first guest, Yami Kyoté Moon!  
  
Yami Kyoté Moon: Hello everyone. I'm just gonna eat this chicken for a while. "messily rips apart  
  
and slowly devours a live chicken"  
  
Yami Bakura: All right then. Our next guest is this dead guy.  
  
Dead Guy: I have no soul. I am the angel of death.   
  
The hour of purification is at hand.  
  
Yami Bakura: Who finds guys anyway?  
  
Chibi Bakura: I do!  
  
Yami Bakura: Ok, sleep. Our last guest, hopefully, is, whoa, it's Dark!  
  
Dark: Greetings Akifa. I hope you recognize me this time.  
  
Yami Bakura: Of course. Can we show a clip of our battle in "A Traditional Halloween in Domino   
  
Town"? Hey Chibi Bakura, why don't you make yourself useful?  
  
Chibi Bakura: "sleeping"  
  
Yami Bakura: Well, good for you. Anyway, I'll just describe for you. Dark appears in the form of   
  
Bakura's female clone Erika. It takes some convincing for me to realize that that's him, but we end   
  
up duking it out in the attic with our shadow powers.  
  
Dark: Yeah, and you lost.  
  
Yami Bakura: I didn't want to hurt the mortal. Anyway,   
  
I kicked you symbiotic butt after you detached.  
  
Dark: Are you referring to the fight when I was trying to become Perfect Dark? I slaughtered you,   
  
literally.  
  
Yami Bakura: Quit faking. I destroyed you.  
  
Dark: No, I destroyed you.  
  
Yami Bakura: Fine, I'll prove it. "puts in tape of the fight.   
  
Yami Bakura is beating on the Dark symbiote."  
  
Yami Bakura: See?  
  
Dark: Ha. You didn't show the whole thing. "puts in another tape of Dark draining the power of the   
  
ring to use as his own, then sacrificing himself and Yami Bakura to make Perfect Dark"  
  
Dark: Thus proving, I AM THE ULTIMATE EVIL!  
  
Yami Bakura: The light only masks the darkness. Darkness is ever present, watching, waiting,   
  
planning. Darkness is vengeance. Always eager to smother the light which locked it away. No   
  
matter how strong the light that hides it is, the darkness eventually returns, stronger than ever. And   
  
once the darkness is there, the chances of sending it back are slim, because the darkness grows   
  
wiser with each time it is banished. That is why, when I return, there will be absolute hell to pay,   
  
for I AM THE DARKNESS!  
  
Audience wildly cheers.  
  
Dark: Groovy, man. Dig the awesome poem.  
  
Yami Bakura: Thanks, and one more thing.  
  
Dark: What's that?  
  
Yami Bakura: YOU LOSE! "opens portal and sends Dark back into the Shadow Realm"  
  
Yami Bakura: Well, we're fresh out of time.  
  
Yami Kyoté Moon: Yum. Fresh chicken. VERY fresh.  
  
Dead Guy: THE HOUR OF PURIFICATION IS   
  
AT HAND!  
"starts killing random audience members"  
  
Chibi Bakura: YEAH! Now I can play my games. "Start playing with blocks, but falls asleep"  
  
Chibi Bakura: -_-ZZZ  
  
Yami Bakura: Ok, next time, join me when I find a new job, and hopefully get rid of that chibi   
  
Bakura. Whatever. Here's the moment you've been waiting for, the moment of Zen.  
  
"theme from the Daily Show starts playing out of no where as a flock of sheep comes in and attacks   
  
the zombie, who dies again. Yami Kyoté Moon is still eating chicken, and Chibi Bakura is riding a   
  
sheep"  
  
Chibi Bakura: Yay!  
  
"'The Rising' starts playing and everyone starts dancing, except Yami Bakura and the dead guy.   
  
Yami Bakura because he is searching for a new job and the dead guy cause he's dead. Sheep start   
  
singing it.  
  
Sheep: Baa baa baa baa baa baa baa. Baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa.  
  
Yami Bakura: Ahh, here we are. Meat packer. Perfect. Here sheepy sheepy sheepy.  
  
"sheep attack and tie up Yami Bakura and keep singing around him"  
  
Yami Bakura: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Stop the sheep! The sheep! Chibi Bakura!   
  
Help!  
  
Chibi Bakura: Do a little daaaance. Do it.  
  
Yami Bakura: Fine. Doo Doo doo doo doo doo. There now help me!  
  
Chibi Bakura: "falls asleep"  
  
Yami Bakura: HELP ME!  
  
Yami Kyoté Moon: "finally finishes slaughtering the chicken" SHEEP! "attacks and eats the sheep.   
  
Then has a heart attack and dies."  
  
Yami Bakura: Oh, crap. All of the guests died. Whatever. I just go work at PolluteCo. They always   
  
have plenty of openings because their workers die! But first, I'm going to get rid of this   
  
menace once and for all. "walks over to Chibi Bakura with a knife" DIE CHIBI! "stabs the remains   
  
of a sheep and feeds it to Chibi Bakura, who promptly changes back to Bakura"  
  
Bakura: It's about time you got changed me back. I'm hitting the sushi bar. "walks away"  
  
Yami Bakura: Finally. I'm alone. "looks around, then begins to eat chicken"  
  
Announcer1: The Cow Saws... Moo!  
  
Announcer2: This radio broadcast has been brought to you buy: Mad Cow Inc., Jiffy Lube, and   
  
viewers like you. Now please leave.  
  
Please R&R because this was really fun to make. 


	2. Saturday Night Live

Kyoté Moon: Hello everyone. I was typing Chapter 6 for A Traditional Halloween in   
  
Domino Town when I noticed that someone actually reviewed this story. So, here's   
  
Chapter 2. One more thing, I don't' own Yugioh or any shows on Comedy Central.  
  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////  
  
Yugi and Pegasus are dueling in the Duelist Kingdom. Yugi is up by 500 life points.  
  
Pegasus: Face it, little Yugi, you can't beat me.  
  
Yugi: Yes I can. Go Dark Magician.  
  
Dark Magician appears and destroys Pegasus' monster and he loses.  
  
Pegasus: What? How can I lose?  
  
Yugi: Because I'm the star. Now fork over the Millennium Eye!  
  
Pegasus: What? You don't want my eye! You want the souls of Kaiba, Mokuba and your   
  
Grandfather.  
  
Yugi: To bad. "rips out the eye" Ha ha ha! The eye is mine!  
  
Yami Bakura: Hey, I'm supposed to take the eye.  
  
Yugi: You? Ha! I beat you in a duel anyway, so I should keep the eye anyway.  
  
Yami Bakura: Give me the eye. I have a better reason to have it than you do.  
  
Yugi: And what's that.  
  
Yami Bakura: Well, the reason I need it is because, LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S   
  
SATURDAY NIGHT!  
  
"Saturday Night Live intro playing"  
  
Announcer: It's Saturday Night Live! With Yugi Muto, Tea Gardener, Joey Wheeler,   
  
Maxamillion Pegasus, Bakura Ryou, Mai Valentine, Malik Ishtal, Isis Ishtal, Kyoté   
  
Moon, with the Saturday Night Live Band, musical guests, Kaiba and the Glass Giraffes.  
  
And now, here's your host, Yami Bakura!  
  
Wild cheers in the audience.  
  
Yami Bakura: Whooo. It is sooo great to be hosting here. Hopefully, things will turn out   
  
better than at my last job.  
  
Yami Kyoté Moon eating another chicken in the audience looks up.  
  
Yami Kyoté Moon: What are you talking about? That was fuuuuuuuuuunnnnn!  
  
Yami Bakura: Are you drunk?  
  
Yami Kyoté Moon: Maybe I am, maybe I'm.........before he can finish, he collapses on   
  
stage. A janitor comes out and pushes Yami Kyoté Moon off stage with a broom.  
  
Yami Bakura: Ok then, whatever. You guys stay right here; we've got a great show for   
  
you. Kaiba and the Glass Giraffes are here. Don't go away, we'll be right back!  
  
  
Scene takes place in the Shadow Realm when Yami is dueling Yami Bakura.  
  
Yami: I play the Dark Magician.  
  
Yugi pops up on the field.  
  
Yugi: Whoa! I'm the Dark Magician! Sweet! Now I call the shots, Yami! Do my   
  
homework! Clean my room! Do my chores.  
  
Yami Bakura: Oh, I pity you whatever. "Plays Man-Eater Bug who kills Yugi."  
  
Yami: Thank you, but I still have to beat you.  
  
Yami Bakura: No you don't. We can work together. Collect all of the items. Carpe Diem   
  
Yami! We can rule the world!  
  
Yami: Or, I can destroy you. Mind Crush!  
  
Yami Bakura: Hey that's not fair. Go Mr. Peepers!  
  
Mr. Peepers appears and starts attacking Yami.  
  
Kaiba and the Glass Giraffes start playing, but they are very bad.  
  
All of the cast members go on stage and start dancing to the crappy song.  
  
Yami Kyoté Moon comes back with a giant flock of sheep.  
  
Yami Bakura: Oh, crap not again!  
  
The sheep attack Yami Bakura and start singing the song.  
  
Bakura tries to get away, but his Chibi form takes over and returns.  
  
Chibi Bakura: Yay! I live again! "Starts dancing and eating cantaloupe"  
  
Kyoté Moon walks in.  
  
Kyoté Moon: Oh, no again. "Uses mystic author powers to get rid of Yami Kyoté Moon   
  
and the sheep.   
  
Dark: Akifa! Revenge is mine!  
  
Starts pummeling Yami Bakura with blasts of dark magic.  
  
Kyoté Moon: I summon Willis, the bold.  
  
Willis appears and sends Dark back to the shadow Realm as Yami Bakura slinks away.  
  
Yami Bakura: Oh, that was my favorite show, too. Maybe this next one here.........  
  
Please R&R 


End file.
